Crack a joke

This example shows two coworkers who are discussing a lost pet. Regina: Well, as you know, I just recently built a backyard chicken coop. I just got my first chickens yesterday, and one of them already escaped! It wanted to get to the other side!

Reggie: Ginny, this is serious! This is no time to crack jokes! Try to be more supportive. The genie shook his head. A guy comes home with two black eyes and his wife looks at him in shock and asks how that happened. He replies: while I was in line at the supermarket I saw this woman with her dress wedged into her butt crack, so I reached down and pulled it out for her, and that's when she turned around and punched me in the face. He wife then looks at him confused and says: that explains one black eye, but not the other.

He then says: well, based on her reaction I assumed she wanted it that way, so I put it back. His roommate looks at him surprised and asks him how on earth it happened.

The man says there was a beautiful young woman wearing a formal gown at the party, and he noticed that her dress was riding up the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out of her crack and she punched me in the face for it!

Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap What in the hell would you need all that junk for? He said I can use it to crack an egg You're such a rube, Goldberg. But I didn't bend down to get it, because I didn't want plumber's crack.

Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise? Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?

Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see? Yes, Sensei. That's the problem. You keep watching stupid shit instead of practicing! It got stuck in a crack! Just a dad with some dad jokes. A crack head will steal your wallet. A meth head will steal your wallet and spend 20 minutes helping you find it. All their talk about how crystals would "align their chakras and give them powers" made me think they were dumb.

How could a rock give them powers? But then I tried crack. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh.

Many of the crack crack up jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate. We suggest to use only working crack how to crack piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The Best 85 Crack Jokes. What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker. Two eggs were boiling in a pot Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Who makes more money - a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute- she can wash her crack and resell it. How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one more. Two wives go out for girls night. What's a crackhead with no drugs? Lawyers and Engineers Three lawyers and three engineers are at a train station on their way to a conference. I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day I said "Dawn! Get off my face!

An old guy with a horrible toupee stopped me in the parking lot to tell me this random joke Related Topics kush quack yolks crackin rip how to crack good how to crack crack up crack some crack of dawn crack me up junkie cocaine break necrophiliacs dope nog eggcellent chiropractor fracture frosty humpty crackhead pablo burst hack cracker chink rift rupture.

Support the war on crack. Stop wearing low rise jeans. There are two eggs in a pan of boiling water One says "oh! How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up My dad dropped his meth pipe. Now he has a crack pipe. Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Told by a 5 year old boy live on local radio: Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall? So he could see her crack Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

Step on a crack, break your momma's back! What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer? The hooker because she can wash her crack and sell it again. How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb? Every N. A song Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas!

What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one. I met a little boy today.

My daughter was playing hopscotch by herself What is similar about a necrophiliac and an alcoholic? What do you call the urge to crack open a cold one? New Words supercold. January 10, To top. Sign up for free and get access to exclusive content:. Free word lists and quizzes from Cambridge. Tools to create your own word lists and quizzes. Word lists shared by our community of dictionary fans. Sign up now or Log in. Definitions Clear explanations of natural written and spoken English. Click on the arrows to change the translation direction.